Losing it?

This probably won't make much sense. Stream of consciousness here. Bear with me...

I feel like I'm losing it. There's no real explanation. I'm crying a lot and just...out of it all. I feel like life in general just got about ten times harder to deal with, even though I know it didn't.

I try really hard...so hard to be nice. I try to be kind to everyone. I try to love everyone. I think I'm failing. I get snarled at a lot...I'm having trouble being kind. I mean, I'll say something cruel and catch it after I've said it. Then I'll punish myself for it.

The last time I tore myself up, it was pretty bad. I was crying...I'd said something horrible. My dad told me that I was the only one who expected me to be so good all the time, and that I should ease up.

Okay, I don't know about that. I might be the only person who expects me to be good...bu God wants me to as well, so it can't be pointless. I know I have to accept that I make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. But it only takes one "mistake" to close someone's heart off from me. If I say one wrong thing to one wrong person at one wrong time, I've just ruined a chance at spreading the Word.

So, I accept mistakes, right? Everyone makes mistakes. But I can't just accept them, because too many mistakes and I've ruined something that could be great. What do you think?

Sorry for rambling. Figured I have to put it out there.